GRAND MA--WHERE ARE YOU?

GRAND MA--WHERE ARE YOU?

Jun 24 2007 | Views 600 | Comments (4) | Report Abuse

Tags: grand parents love for grand children is unfathomable.

REMEMBERING YOU! WHERE ARE YOU GRAND MA?

        
           My grandma, Mrs. Hakam Badan Singh, used to call me a 

'BUDDHU' (likeable Duffer) because
I was born on a Wednesday.My childhood was spent in her laps. She was a very 
strong-willed woman, who never entertained negative  thoughts or failure.            Her husband died when she was young but she brought up her four sons with 
strict discipline. She was very pious at heart, somuch so that after the death of her 
husband, when she was herself in a major financial crisis, she had returned the land 
annexed by her father-in-law from simple village folk. Her FATHER-IN-LAW,Mr. 
LEHNA SINGH was not only a reputed land lord of the areabut also a renowned “SAFED POSH”
-MMAN IN WHITE—a title given by BRITISH GOVERNMENT-to their CONFIDANTS and PSYCHOPHANTS.
She always told me that it were the ill deeds of my REAT GRAND FATHER THAT HER 
HUSBAND DIED YOUNG and the family had to undergo hardships. I was told that my grand 
father was sued by his father for a very small issue and father-son duo fought the court
case at LAHORE HIGH COURT  vigorously. My grand father was the only son of his parents. 
He, being an only son of a rich landlord had fallen into bad company.His father had got
him married to a pious young girl to make him a good man. My great mother did change him
and he became a responsible husband and a father. But he never pulled on well with  
father. Father-son duo was strongest rivals though living and eating in the same house. 
        My great grand father liked his grandchildren so much that he thought my 
grandfather was incapable of bringing them up properly.This probably led to a amily 
dispute which ended with the death my of great grand father in 1928. But the dispute 
with his father and his wayward ways had told upon the health f my grand father, too. 
He too died in 1934. He had overspent himself in the marriages of his 
eldest son and the only daughter. He came under heavy debit.
        My grandmother had to clear the debit by mortgaging  village land. She  refused 
to take possession of the land outside the village which had been cunningly acquired by 
her father-in-law. She thought that the ill-acquired property was the cause of 
disharmony in the family. In fact,she emphatically held the view that ‘her husband and 
my grandfather’got spoilt because of the curses of the poor people who had been 
dispossessed of the land by my great grand father. Some how this always guided  and 
motivated her to do only morally right things—no matter how difficult and painful was  
the method. This, in those days,I always thought was a silly way of doing a thing while 
easy means were available.To be very frank, I detested her methods. But she was a lady 
of great principles ---she not only preached but she lived and breathed them.
        She brooked no nonsense from anyone. She was totally illiterate but yet a woman 
of letters. She had learnt to read and write at the age of 50.She had read all the religious  books on 'Hinduism'. She had plenty of these books and I was forced to read 
them with  her. I used to resent this but had no choice, as I was staying with 
her--------I was the eldest of her 17 grand children. Being a irst male grandchild in 
the family I was her favored grand child. My parents had no ‘say’ or claim over me. 
She was both, strict and kind at heart in dealing with me. She will allow me to play 
with friends till late hours but force me to get up early in the morning to read her 
“BOOKS” to her. I used to read and she used to explain their meanings and implications 
to her audience in PUNJABI. In fact, it might seem strange what she used to read the 
HINDI SCRIPT IN PUNJABI to her audience, mostly her old friends of the village. I guess 
she had memorized every thing by heart. She used to lace the narration with her 
self-made moral stories. Even today, I carry in my sub-conscious mind her moral 
teachings. In fact, best part of my childhood, from 1954 to 1961, I spent in her laps. 
Mrs. Hakam Badan Singh was a  very pious but a firm lady. Her four sons used to be 
scared of her. (She beat up my ather  in front of me  with a rolling pin when I was 
around 26 years old.) But she was blind in her love towards me. Some how she could 
never pronounce my name and she would always call me 'JAGINDER' or a "BUDDHU".        REWIND TO YEAR 1966. It was 28 Dec 1966 ; I was leaving for higher things in life---on a PROFESSIONAL JOURNEY.  She had, then, said to me, "OYE, ‘BUDDHU’JALDI GHAR 
LAUT AANA (Hey, you ‘duffer’! come back home soon.)" I HAD KEPT SILENT, THEN, BECAUSE I 
COULDN’T SURMISE THAT AN ILLITERATE AND A CRUDE-VILLAGE-WOMAN would ever grasp the 
meaning of “********”? In fact, the day I was selected for “*******”, I had distanced 
myself from her because I was  about to acquire an exalted status  in life, and she was 
an uneducated old lady, who was far removed from the elegant graces of sophisticated 
modern world. No doubts, she loved me. Again, no doubts, I loved her, too. But, my 
exalted pride and elevated ego made me feel ashamed and belittled of my association with
an ungraceful and crude old lady. I had grown bigger for my shoes. Perhaps, I was victim
of a Youngman’s growing false ego. Call me UNGRATEFUL. Fine. But she had been my grandmother and she could excuse all this.        
         MOVE FORWARD IN TIMES TO YEAR 2006. 15 JULY 2006 . I retired from my great 
profession. I had a good successful run. But I was reminded of the words of my grandma 
on that day. I was choked with emotions. I wanted to yell that day and say, " HEY, MAA 
JI, (GRAND MA), HUM LAUT AAYE HAIN. (Hey Grand Ma, I have come back)” YES, I wanted to 
tell her that HER ‘BUDDHU’ WAS BACK HOME.LAUT KE BUDDHU GHAR KO AAYE 
(DUFFER IS BACK HOME) ". But where is she? 
       She has been left miles behind. My voice can not reach her. I can only see 
glimpses of her images.Who will tell me all those things, now? Who will spank me for my 
wrong doing? My ‘dad’ and  ‘mom’ perhaps are too possessed of their grand children to 
spare time for me. My wife and children are too inhibited to point fingers at me. They 
all have pity on me at my whimsical conduct but no one spanks me, GRAND MA. Do you 
remember, or not that day,grand ma? I tell you what?   
        
      
      
        
            Once my youngest UNCLE (FATHER’S YOUNGEST BROTHER) came on
 leave and 
        
      
      
        
          brought a box of apples. My grandmother kept them in her lock 
and  key. I knew where she 
        
      
      
        
          had kept the keys and stole one or two apples. 
No one  came to know.  This emboldened me. This became a regular
 practice 
        
      
      
        
          with me over the next two to three days. One day she got 
suspicious on the reducing number 
        
      
      
        
          of apples. She laid a trap and caught 
me. I will never forget the spanking she gave me with a 
        
      
      
        
          stick. You see, 
whenever I had faltered she would break a branch from the 'NEEM' tree in 
        
      
      
        
          the campus of our old house and spank me  with this. Her method was 
unique. She would first 
        
      
      
        
          hit me once, then, hit herself twice and repeat the
process, shouting:-
        
      
      
        
          
                               SAY:-
        
      
      
        
          
               JHOOT BOLNA PAAP HAI (TELLING LIES IS A SIN).
        
      
      
        
          
                               SAY:- 
        
      
      
        
             CHORI KARNA PAAP HAI (STEALING IS IMMORAL).
        
      
      
        
          
                               SAY:- 
        
      
      
        
             BADON KI IZZAT KARO (RESPECT YOUR ELDERS).

      
        
          
                            REMEMBER:-

      
        
  BADA INSAAN WO HI HOTA HAI JO BADE KAAM KARTA HAI.UMAR SE KOI BADA NAIN HOTA.

      
        
  (A MAN IS GREAT BY HIS GREAT DEEDS. AGE AND SENIORITY DO NOT MAKE HIM GREAT)      
      
      
        
          
     

     While spanking me and hitting herself she would cry very loudly.

 
Perhaps, she used to punish herself for having failed to instill in me some

good morals. I, today, feel she probably thought she was  equally to be blamed 

for my “STEALING” adventures. What a noble way of accpting MORAL  RESPONSIBILITY? 

She was really a greatlady of strong courage OF CONVICTIONS.
        
      
      
        
     Many more such things she had often told me as a young child. I 
can write a book on her philosophical and moral discourses. But, then, 
I always resented her big moralizing sessions.I never could, then, 
understand the meaning of those high sounding words but they were stuffed into 

me by her. As I went along in life, they checked me from my  
temptations of the easy ways. Their impact had been too strong in my 
life. At times, even if I was tempted to go astray, the old lady would get 
to know this and she  would haunt me in my sub-conscious mental-debates to avoid 

nourishing such a desire. She would pounce on me with her “NEEM” stick in my 

dreams. I don’t know but I do feel MORE I RAN AWAY FROM HER TEACHINGS IN LIFE,

MORE STRONGLY THEY CAME BACK AT ME.IS IT THAT LESSONS LEARNT IN CHILDHOOD
 HAVE A GREATER IMPACT ON A HUMAN BEING? I don’t know; I can’t say—because I’M 

THEIR PRISONER. Even today, they lie somewhere at the back of my mind. And she 

lives in me through my memories. BUT I DO KNOW THEIR MEANING 

AND I MPORTANCE TODAY. I KNOW IT IS TOO LATE; FOR SHE IS NOT AROUND. 
Now I can only shout across the skies to tell her that your ‘BUDDHU’
 IS LOOKING FOR YOU. “HUM LAUT AAYE HAIN, GRAND MA (IHAVE COME BACK GRAND MA).”  

     Though she is nowhere around, yet her words echo in my ears for ever.I want to 

pass them down to my grand children. ALAS! THEY NEITHER HAVE THE TIME TO LISTEN 

TO ME NOR HAVE ANY USE FOR, WHAT THEY SAY ARE THE FALSE MORALITIES OF A CONFUSED 

GENERATION.I WONDER IF IT HAPPENS WITH EVERY GENERATION. 

     Had I said the same things to you GRAND MA? I doubt I could dare to say this, 

for 1957 can not be 2007. I believe YURI GAGRIN --a RUSSIAN had gone into the 
space that year in 1957. My teacher had told me that it was a big stiride by 

mankind. I didnot know what he meant? FIFTY years have gone by since. The world 

has changed many times over. We had hardly known the world a round us then. We have, now,
discovered  EARTH-II, GRAND MA. Are you  there?