HINDI POEM-17 (New-4) जलचर और थलचर!

EXPRESSYOURSELF CONTESTWEEK 19( JALCHAR AUR THALCHAR--A STORY OF EVOLUTION)

Apr 1 2008 | Views 733 | Comments (20) | Report Abuse

Tags: this is the story of evolutuin of life and creatures

जलचर और थलचर!
रेत के सीने में मचले है आज़ तुम्हारे पांव,
चूमने इनको आए है हम छोड के अपना काम;
लाल रंग से चमक रहे है नाखुन पांव के सारे,
क्या हमको यह करते है खतरे के कोई ईशारे?
उछ्लो मत,न कूदो यहां,औ प्यारी-प्यारी मुन्निया!
तुम इन्सानों से क्या भिन्न सागर की यह दुनिया?
सागर के सीने में होते उथल-पुथल नितान्त,
यहां भी लागू होता है 'डार्विन' का सिद्दान्त.

जीवन की शुरुआत सुना है, शुरु हुई थी पानी मे-
सच्च छिपा है यही क्या 'मतस्य अवतार' कहानी में?
जीवन गाथा 'थलचर' की, ऑक्सीज़न पे निर्भर है,
'जलचर'का जीना भी तो पानी के बाहर दुर्लभ है .

पानी कि लहरें हमको कहां कहां ले जाती हैं?
वक्त की बढती परछाईयां तुमको भी सबक सिखाती हैं;
ताकतबर की ताकत 'गर ज़मीं पे ज़ुल्म ढाती है?
हमारे यहां भी बडी मछली छोटी को खा जाती है;
चलो दिखाते है तुमको को इक बन्दर की तस्वीर,
सबका कहना उस से जुडी है इन्सान के पूर्वज़ की तकदीर;
किसी बन्दर को 'उत्पति' का किस्सा समझ क्या आता है?
'मतस्य अवतार' और 'नरसिहं' का अफ़साना भूल जाता है.


अपने घर में "राजी" आपका करते है हम स्वागत,
थलचर के हर प्राणी को हम खुली देते है दावत;
नाचो यहां और गाओ भी,हमे कोई नही एतराज-
मत करना दूषित औ थलचर! हमारा जल-संसार.

binagupta posted 4 yrs ago

rajee:
aapki kavita bahut kuchh kah gayee
really loved it and congrats for being the runner up
cheers
bina
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rajee kushwaha posted 4 yrs ago

dear lotuspetals,
thanks . i wish you a win in the next contest. regards. rajee.

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lotuspetals posted 4 yrs ago

rajee congrats

for being runner up for contest-19-xpress urself........regards........aruna

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rajee kushwaha posted 4 yrs ago

dear downtoearth,
it was really great to read your observations. you have been very kind withyour appreciation. bohat achha laga. kindly visit my other poetic or non-poetic write-ups. it will be wonderful to read your observation and comments. i will be looking forward to it. please do keep coming. thanks. regards. rajee.

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rajee kushwaha posted 4 yrs ago

dear komlet,
thanks a lot for the kind appreciation. maza toh isi mein hai ki photos ko synthesises kiya jaye apne vichaaron, bhavnaon aur shabdon se. komlet ji, kisi photo par do chaar jumle likh dena kisi bhasha mein bhi har lekhak aur kavi ka kaam hai . magar do alag khyalon ya vicharon ya pratibimbon ko ek maala mein pirona hi asli challenge hai--main aisi hi baaten kuredata rahta hun.
i am happy that you liked it. please do visit again. regards. rajee.
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komlet posted 4 yrs ago

rajeeji, dil se nikal hua ek ek shabd jamin hakikat se juda hai.............bahut achha laga.aapne jis sundarata se dono tasweero ko ek taar me piro kar puri kavita ki rachna ki hai - kabil-e-tareef hai, bahut sunder kavita or wo bhi apni matribhasha me...........maza hi aa gya......
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downtoearth posted 4 yrs ago

dear rajee,
kya kavita likhi ha aapne, dono tasveeron ko jodne ki kadi bahut acchi lagi!
aur saath saath prakriti ke dooshan se bachaane ka sandesh, bahut khoob!
regards
dte
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rajee kushwaha posted 4 yrs ago

dear ehsaas,
thanks. yea i suppose the real challenge for awriter is to seek synthesis of the two photos through emotions and expressions. i tried to do this and continue doing the same. regards. rajee.
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rajee kushwaha posted 4 yrs ago

dear myutterances,
thanks for your wonderful comments and excellent observations. i am grateful to you for such pleasing remarks. i am delighted as you have really caught the essence of this poem which i thought might not be understood. thank you very much. please do keep coming. if you have time kindly read my other hindi and english poems too. regards. rajee.

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Ehsaas posted 4 yrs ago

rajee
hamey aapki kavita bhaa gayi. aapney kitney sundar tarikey sey dono tasveer ko jodaa hain .
aapki kavita main anubhuti hain, ek sandesh hain .

my utterances posted 4 yrs ago

rajee kushwaha
you touched mythology, science, philosophy and presented a vision too in the poem. the thought is brilliant and the expression beautiful !! the poem addressed significant environmental issues and also gave the message of harmonious living. man needs to become aware before it is too late. cheers and regards.

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rajee kushwaha posted 4 yrs ago

dear namita,
thank you dear. i thought the real challenge is to create a link in the two snaps. you see one can individually write on this snaps. but it is better to create the link. i am doing this. regards. rajee.

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namitasachan posted 4 yrs ago

dono tasweero ko bahut khoobsooratee se ek lay me piroya hai aapne .pauranik sandarbho ke jikra ne kavita ko naye aayaam de diye hai ...bahut khoob
namita

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rajee kushwaha posted 4 yrs ago

dear aruna,
thanks for your appreciation. you would have now seen that my endeavours are to link the snaps. in both my entries, i have done this and i shall do it in future, too. in case i participate. regards. rajee.
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rajee kushwaha posted 4 yrs ago

hi sima,
thanks. your comments were the most appropriate. you had got the essence of the poem. you see the main ingredient of my entry is to seek a synthesis of two snaps. i have been trying to do this through my entries though i am a late comer to the contest.. but this is the real challenge. anybody who is writer can spin out some stanzas on a snap but what matters is you ability to create a link through words, emotions and theme. this is the challenge.
hey, please do not mind, i have not been able to visit your posts lately. i am doing today. regards. rajee.

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rajee kushwaha posted 4 yrs ago

dear madhavi,
thanks for recommending this entry. how i wish if you had posted your comments--whether -ve or +ve--does not matter. even -ve points coming from you would have been nice. regards. rajee.

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rajee kushwaha posted 4 yrs ago

dear yash,
thanks for your nice words. i am clapping for an excellent contest you started. well done brother. you see i realised that essence of the contest you started was to synthesise the two snaps in one theme. if you notice, though i was a late starter i am trying to do this in my entries. you see one can write volumes on individual snaps. but what is important is to create a link with theme and words. i think this is the challenge of your game. thanks, dear. regards. rajee.

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sima sach posted 4 yrs ago

rajee ji ,
kya kavita kahi hai aapne ,matsay avtaar aur bandar insaan kee utpatti ka jo udaaharan dekar aapne kavita me jo ras bhara hai ,vo to vaastav me hee kaabil-e-taareef hai. law of daarvin aur jal aur thal jeevan ko aapne jitani aasaani se apane shabdo me sameta hai ,vah sraahneey hai...aur kya kahoo.......fantabulous.......seema 

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lotuspetals posted 4 yrs ago

rajee..........wonderful........a master piece.........aruna
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yash chhabra posted 4 yrs ago

is kavitsa ki tareef ke liye mere pass shabd nahi hai....hindi me itani sunder kavita aur wo bhi gurh arth liye hue...mai samajh sakta hun kitani mehnat ki hogi aap ne is rachna par....i am clapping for you...